Breaking The Ice: Networking At Social Events

Jun 14th, 2011 by savvyclub

Dear friends,
There are few people who don’t dislike the thought of finding themselves at a social event and having to make small talk with perfect strangers. It’s calculated to make any of us a bit defensive. But there really is no need. By hanging back and hugging the wall you present yourself as rude and standoffish, but with a little bit of courage, and a small effort, you can soon navigate yourself into some truly interesting and rewarding encounters.

Of course there are people who think nothing of approaching a group of strangers and engaging them in conversation. But that can sometimes be worse than hanging back, if it comes over as either patronising or over-hearty. People generally enjoy neutral, friendly, relaxed conversational exchanges, even with strangers. They don’t want to feel that they are been interrogated, or challenged about their core beliefs and attitudes.

Sadly, there will be those present who don’t hold the same opinions as you. If you do start to feel that you are at serious odds with the person you are speaking, great tact is called for. The simple option is politely to agree to disagree, smile, and change the subject. Please don’t imagine you will change anyone’s fundamental thinking by force of argument or, worse still, by mockery. It doesn’t happen. If the other party blunders on and becomes confrontational, make your excuses and move on. That’s your duty as a guest, anyway – to meet and engage with a variety of people, and to put yourself about.

And, yes, whatever the social event, there will more than likely be a few bores in attendance – those, on the one hand, with nothing to say, and those – more numerous by far – who are happy to talk only about themselves. If you presume to interrupt the monologue with a word about your own little concerns, you are met with a blank stare, and the torrent continues regardless. This too can serve as a source of quiet amusement – for a while. But once you have had enough, you are under no obligation to sit around. If you lack the courage to break the conversation off directly, wander over to the drinks table, size up a sympathetic soul, and engage them in conversation. The bore won’t even notice your departure.

Such are the dangers, the sources of apprehension. They are far outweighed by the opportunity to meet some really interesting and agreeable people. Just keep your wits about you, and you won’t have to look very far. Quite possibly, they will be the ones sitting alone and looking thoughtful.

Kim RixThe SaVVy Club®